Connect with us

Wellness

16 Keys to Change Stinking Thinking

Stinking or negative thinking is our normal way of response when we encounter various stressful events. It stirs our minds and sometimes let us act irrationally. But at the end of the day, we come to our senses and think that our problems shall pass. However, some people stay on the dark side of life. They always believe that there’s no hope for them to solve their problems. They react very negatively on the situations that it distresses other people. Hence, it is safe to say that too much negative thinking does not only affect us but all the people around us. Because of this, it is important to distinguish healthy negative thinking and harmful stinking thinking.  

Here are the helpful ways that can turn your stinking thinking into a constructive one.  

1.    Determining your thinking patterns.

Source: Pixabay

Our minds tend to deceive us and make us believe that what we’re thinking is the actual reality. We should determine our thinking patterns to change our negative thoughts. Some of the common distortions that our minds are creating are: black and white thinking, personalizing, filter thinking, and catastrophizing.  

2.    List down your daily negative thoughts.

 

Source: Pixabay

An excellent way to monitor ourselves every day is by listing down our negative thoughts. Whenever we think of unwanted thoughts, we should force ourselves to write it on our daily journal. Keeping notes would provide us a concrete proof that we should stop stinking thinking.

3.   Replace your negative thinking.

Source: Pixabay

Many people assume that they can eliminate their negative thinking. This idea is not actually true. As humans, it is reasonable to have negative thoughts at some time; but overthinking it would lead to damaging effects on us. It is advised to replace and control our negative thinking. In starting this process, we must fully understand and recognize it. 

4.   Release negativity in a healthy way. 

Source: Pixabay

Negative people have the habit of letting their negative thoughts stay on them. They dwell on it too much and get trapped by the negativity. One of the great ways to move forward is to release it healthily. You can allow yourself to feel pity for the mistakes that you’ve done. You can do it for 10-15 minutes then prepare to move on to the other opportunities. 

5.   Practice gratitude.

Source: Pixabay

Being gratitude lets us feel grateful with small things. As we face challenges, we can be reminded that there are things that we should be thankful. Jotting it down is an effective way to identify simple yet essential things that we have.  

6.    Establish your strengths.

Source: Pixabay

Concentrating on your strengths helps to set aside your negative thoughts. Continually doing this would redirect you to a better and positive outlook in life. 

7.   Find things that you love and appreciate.

Source: Unsplash

Since we can’t entirely eliminate our negative thoughts, the only way we can do about it is to manage it. Another effective way of replacing our negativity is to make an effort to find things that we love and appreciate. It can be anything that lessens our negative thinking. A simple food or movie are some of the simple things that can distract you from habitual thinking pattern. 

8.    Raise tough and objective questions for yourself.

Source: Pixabay

Take time to evaluate yourself. After that, you can ask tough and objective questions that would guide you to the factors of having stinking thinking.

9.   Block any additional negative things.

 

Source: Pixabay

As possible, you should avoid things that would contribute to your existing negativity. Violent news, social media, and being with toxic people are some contributing factors that would worsen your way of thinking. 

10.   Create new habits.

Source: Pixabay

You can develop new habits instead of conquering your negative thinking. By doing this, you can be more focused on your new and positive habits. 

11. Encourage yourself. 

Source: Pixabay

As you wake you, consciously encourage yourself. Tell something good about yourself, such as your hair, your health, and your family. This could attract positive vibes that you could bring throughout the day. 

12.   Cultivate your new thinking pattern and routine.

Source: Pexels

Setting a new pattern and sticking to it takes time, but it would be your gateway to the positive outlook in life. You don’t have to create big goals for yourself. Taking little steps is much convincing in changing your way of thinking than setting grand expectations. 

13.   Prayer and Meditate.

Source: Pixabay

Prayer helps you gather your thoughts and concerns and talk to your Higher Power.

14.   Objectively handle your negative thinking. 

Source: Pixabay

Dealing with your negative thinking patterns involves proper assessment. You can start recognizing it and dealing with it by deceiving your mind to redirect your negative thoughts to constructive ones. 

15.   Take time to be kind to others. 

Source: Pixabay

Each day you can do a random act of kindness to other people. Continually doing it would develop positive feelings and establish a healthy relationship with people around you. 

16.   Seek professional support.

Source: Pixabay

If you think that you can’t change your stinking thoughts by yourself, it is best to seek professional help. Counselors and life coaches can design specific programs that would help you to cope with your negative thinking patterns.  

Wellness

Advice for Resolving Conflicts in Your Relationships (And if You’re Funny Use Humor)

The conflict has been brewing all day. The combatants are at crisis point, and it feels like the entire office is holding their collective breath waiting to see what happens next. At this point, they’re ready for bloodshed, or at the very least, some very strong words.

Source: Pixabay

No matter how much you like the other person, at some point, conflict is likely to happen. While most conflicts are fairly small (like trying to decide where to go out for dinner), left untended a conflict can fester and grow. That’s why it’s so important to resolve conflicts in your relationships before they have a chance to take on a life of their own.

How do you go about doing that?

Source: Pexels

  1. Start by listening. But don’t just listen to the spoken words, but the feelings behind them. It’s the emotions that drive the conversation after all! By listening actively, meaning pausing to ask questions, clarify, and to reiterate what you think the other person is saying, you tell the other person that what they have to say matters. But more importantly, you’re letting them know that they’re being heard.
  2. Look for resolution over being right. Giving up the notion that you have to ‘win’ is where you start seeing the solutions. Conflict is not a competition.
  3. Stay at the moment. Instead of focusing on what happened that brought you into this conflict, pay attention to what’s going on right now. Now isn’t the time for blame. Rather look for solutions.

    Source: Pixabay

  1. Decide what’s important right now. It is called ‘picking your battles’ and is important in determining whether a thing is worth fighting over. Ask yourself if this is just an issue over a minor annoyance that will be easily forgotten, or if you have something deeper going on that maybe needs to be addressed.
  2. Know how and when to disengage. That means being able to do what it takes to walk away. It might be forgiveness is in order. It might be that you’re just going to need to agree to disagree. Worst case scenario? It might be time just to let the matter go entirely. Whatever the case, there’s nothing to be gained by staying in the conflict.

 

Using Humor

The last thing anyone expects is for one of the key players in the conflict to open their mouths and… make a joke?

Maybe it doesn’t feel like a resolution to the conflict, but actually, laughter goes far beyond being the clichéd ‘best medicine.’  How? First of all, laughter takes the tension out of the situation, which is exactly what’s needed to regain perspective, build stronger bonds, and yes, sometimes smooth over the differences.

How then do you effectively use humor to resolve conflicts?

Source: Pexels

  1. Make sure that both parties are ‘in on the joke.’ By keeping humor wholesome – not at the expense of the other person, you’re focusing on inviting them to laugh with you, rather than laughing at them. How can you tell if you’re doing it right? Humor is tricky, and so your best indicator of getting it right is to gauge the other person’s reactions. If they’re not laughing, chances are they don’t find it funny. Stop!
  1. Check to make sure that you’re using humor as a defensive weapon rather than as a positive tool. If you’re using humor to mask emotions that you’d rather not deal with right now, then it’s time to put a flag on the play. Stop immediately and ask yourself what it is that you’re not dealing with and why.
  1. Work on that sense of humor. Every good comedian knows how to read their audience. The same goes for using humor with another person, especially in a situation that’s already a conflict. Watch the nonverbal cues. What language are you using? Keep the tone positive and light, and mean it. That means don’t use jokes as a means of cruelty. Lastly, consider what you might use as an inside joke. Inside jokes not only keep the situation light but create a deeper intimacy with whom you conflict.

    Source: Pexels

  1. Most importantly, be Playful! A little bit of silly fun is a good thing. Not sure how to tap into that kind of fun and crazy side? Explore humor in other ways so that you always have a repertoire to fall back on. Watch things you find funny on TV or in movies. Listen to jokes. Read the funnies. Find that side of you that likes to play and encourage it with creativity and fun.

 

And no matter what, cut yourself some slack. It takes practice to be funny. Keep at it, and you’ll find your natural sense of humor, and be able to tap into it when you need to. That conflict won’t know what hit it!

Resolving conflicts isn’t a hard skill to learn. By following these tips, you will discover how better to deal with conflict in every kind of relationship – whether business or personal. So take heart – a misunderstanding doesn’t have to mean the end of the world. Instead, look at your conflict as a step toward better understanding that will, in turn, lead to better relationships in the long run.

 

 

Continue Reading

Wellness

What are the Causes and Benefits of Conflict?

Your day might have started fairly ordinary. Only somewhere along the way, things blew up. Now you’re in the middle of a massive conflict with no clear idea of how you got there.

Source: Pixabay

It’s normal to fall into conflict – we’re only human after all. Some conflict is even good for us! But did you know that by understanding how these blow-ups come about, you can learn how to avoid many of these conflicts in the first place?

Conflict comes about because we’ve hit a point of disagreement with another person. While a difference of opinion doesn’t have to turn into conflict, every conflict has at its heart a difference of opinion. These differences manifest in these areas:

  • A difference in values
  • A difference in motivations
  • A difference in what you perceive is true or necessary\
  • A difference in wants
  • A difference in the understanding of various ideas or even ideals.

How do these differences then turn into conflicts?

Source: Pixabay

  1. The difference has somehow become perceived as a threat. Whenever you feel threatened, there’s going to be trouble. Threats bring out that whole urge to fight to protect what’s important to you. Hence, your disagreement escalates into the realm of conflict.
  2. You’ve let that conflict fester. So, what might have felt like a minor threat at the beginning has become something much bigger in nature because of two factors. First, you neglected the conflict by not dealing with it right away. Second, the passage of time has given the conflict room to grow. So, now it’s blown up into something bigger than it ever was in the first place. How? Keep reading, and you’ll see.

    Source: Pixabay

  3. By now your perception is off-kilter. It might be that what you perceive to be a threat – was never a threat in the first place. How does this happen? Chances are you lost your objectivity in the situation. Especially if you feel threatened. Then add to it #4.
  4. Your emotions got involved. Conflicts tend to attract strong emotions. But the stronger the emotion, the more likely you are to blow things out of proportion. Emotional reactions also make it a lot harder to deal with a conflict in the first place, so chances are if you get emotional, you’ve already let things get out of control.

Are There Benefits of Conflict?

When you experience a violent storm, it’s easy to rail against the weather. The wind and the rain can seem terrifying, especially when coupled with the crash of thunder and the bright crackle of lightning splitting the sky. But ask any farmer, and they’ll tell you that even storms have their benefits. The rain is necessary for their crops. And believe it or not, when lightning strikes the ground, it puts nitrogen into the soil that is essential for things to grow.

Likewise, conflicts have certain benefits that we don’t always see. Keep reading to find several of them you might not have considered before now.

Source: Pixabay

  1. Conflicts make us aware of new ways to do things. The very fact that there’s a conflict tells you that someone else has a different point of view from your own. By exploring those conflicts, you are likewise invited to explore the idea from a new angle and see a new solution that wouldn’t have occurred before.
  2. Conflicts enable us to verbalize what we want. Think of conflict as a way of being able to genuinely express yourself that doesn’t come up easily at other times. It’s through conflict that we decide what’s important to us, and how to put those feelings into words.
  3. Conflict drives flexibility. When we conflict, we’re hoping for others to see our point of view. But also in dealing with conflict, we’re forced to see the point of view of those around us. That is where we learn how to become flexible, to acknowledge that we’re not always right. The conflict then becomes the teacher of two traits that you can’t live without—that of being open-minded, and of understanding humility.

    Source: Pixabay

  4. Conflict forces us to listen. The only way to resolve conflict is to listen openly to the other person. Through listening, we acquire wisdom and learn to make better decisions.
  5. Conflict drives solutions. When you deal with conflict, you are likewise dealing with a problem that needs a solution. Resolving that conflict means finding those solutions, usually in new and innovative ways. Conflict, thus, forces us to solve our problems in creative ways.

While you might shy away from the idea of conflict, it’s good to remember these benefits. Without conflict, we stagnate. So while the storm outside might rage, remember that all tempests do come to an end. The sun will come out again, and in that light, you’ll be able to see how much you’ve grown and benefitted by that conflict.

You need to maintain your objectivity, keep your emotions in check, and realize that every conflict is an opportunity to grow. Conflicts are normal in life. But it’s the resolution of conflicts that draws us closer together and builds both trust and intimacy.

Continue Reading

Premium Content

Cultivating a Positive Outlook for Your Life

Exclusive eBook for members only.

Continue Reading

Trending