20 Red Flags of Negative People in Your Life
With a lot of stress and challenges that we face every day, we can’t help but feel sad, angry, and anxious at some point in our lives. We confront and solve these problems to replace our negative emotions with positive ones. There are certain people, however, who tend to always look at the negative side of life. These people may not be aware of it that it can also lead them to destroy people’s lives. They may be present in your home, work, school, or community. To help you identify if you are dealing with negative people, here are the 20 red flags that you should watch out.
1. They are pessimistic people
Generally, there are times when you would think negatively with anything for a short time. This does not apply in the cases of negative people. They tend to always look at the dark side of life and still see opportunities as difficulties that can’t be handled.
2. They take out all your positive energy
Negative people cultivate their negativity by sucking out your positive energy. They would drag you down to their dark worlds as they absorb any positivity that you have.
3. They always complain
Since negative people always see the bad side of life, there’s nothing that can satisfy them. They complain a lot as they think that the odds are always against them.
4. They worry about everything
Negative people have the habit of worrying all the time. They believe that worrying would make them safe from having more negative thoughts. But they can’t see that it’s the other way around.
5. They manipulate you
You would not notice that negative people are manipulating you. They are good at disguising themselves as the good people who care for and support you. Beware that their so-called kindness would lead you to fall on their traps to manipulate your thoughts and actions.
6. They are overly sensitive people
Negative people are very sensitive. They view anyone’s remarks as criticism and downgrading for them.
7. They love talking about themselves
Negative people love to be the center of attention. They exhibit it by talking about themselves. They might be throwing a few questions to you, but it always leads back to them. In the usual conversation, they either interrupt you or won’t shut up talking about their aspirations, goals, thoughts, etc.
8. They want to have full control of everything
Controlling everything is one of the displayed signs of negative people. They love to be in charge of everything that includes you and other people around them. They won’t stop in bugging you as long as you don’t agree with everything that they want you to do.
9. They are scared to try new things
Moving out from family, employment relocation, and career change are some of the things that negative people are afraid to do. They are scared to step out of their comfort zone as they fear the unknown and possible challenges along the way.
10. They tend to be a hypocrite
With controlling people, they also tend to exhibit hypocrisy. They would set expectations for all of you (e.g., being early in the office) yet they’re the ones who first break it. If you fail to comply with their expectations, they would criticize you and complain about it.
11. They always create excuses for their actions
If they failed to follow instructions and rules, they would not acknowledge their wrong actions. Instead of admitting it, they would create excuses and lies to cover their behavior.
12. They criticize everything you do
Aside from whining a lot, negative people also like to criticize everything and everyone. From your simple gestures to big decisions, they always lash out their negative opinions about it. They could even smirk and tease you daily.
13. They quickly want to form a relationship with you
Quickly forming a relationship with you is another specialty of negative people. At first, they would attract you with their compliments and charm. It may seem a great time for both of you, but it’s their way of getting to know how to manipulate you.
14. They instantly change their bonds with you
After they formed their relationship with you, negative people would suck out all your positive energy. You would soon notice that their affection towards you would change. Their sweet words would turn into blunt remarks about you.
15. They provoke jealousy and competition
Under their innocence are their jealousy and competitive thoughts about you. You might not discover it since they are doing nice things for you. However, once they see the opportunity to attack you, they would unravel it through half-meant jokes and comments about your behavior.
16. They love to be the victims of all situations
Negative people love to play as victims all the time. They like to get your sympathy and support to shift their wrongdoings towards your actions. Since they only see negativity, they always create drama over it to lure people on their traps.
17. They like to display their toxic behaviors in public
If they experienced ‘unjust’ treatment, negative people would not tolerate it. They are not ashamed to publicly display their behaviors. Since they believe what they are doing are right, they think that earning attention and sympathy are the appropriate gestures to solve their difficulties.
18. They would make you feel guilty or ashamed
Since they are good at manipulating people, they are good at diverting their wrongdoings to others. They can ignore their behaviors and put the guilt and shame towards you.
19. They ruin your self-esteem
Negative people could ruin your self-esteem by making you feel bad about yourself. It can be in the form of sharp remarks, silent treatment, and negative energy that they’ve passed to you.
20. They backstab you whenever you’re not around
Negative people always find faults to anyone. With this, you can expect them to backstab you while you’re not around. They would spread rumors that can ruin your relationship with others.
Removing negative people in your life can be a challenging task for you. You have invested your time and effort to these kinds of people, yet they didn’t seem to equate your good intentions towards them. You might feel that you are obliged to stay with them; however, you should always know that you don’t deserve the enormous amount of stress and pain that you are currently feeling. It’s better to seek peace and positivity if you are leaving all the negative people behind you.
Transform Your Life in 10 Minutes! Self-Care Is the Key!
How to Overcome Addiction as a Christian
What is self-care, and why is it so important?
Taking care of yourself is important for staying healthy and feeling good. It includes exercising, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and managing stress. You can also check how you’re feeling mentally and emotionally to make sure you’re doing okay. Doing all these things can help you stay productive, have better relationships with people, and be successful in the long run.
Taking care of yourself is an important part of overcoming addiction. To recover successfully, it’s essential to form healthy routines and habits. Routines and habits should include how many hours you sleep, eating habits of nutritious meals, exercising on a regular basis, incorporating enjoyable activities, making the time to spend with family and friends, attending support meetings, and taking the time to talk to a therapist if needed. Especially in the early days of recovery, you should also be kind to yourself and accept that it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s also important to learn how to deal with stress in a healthy way so you don’t turn back to your old habits. Taking care of yourself will help you stay focused on achieving sobriety and can lead to a better life.
Only 10 Minutes A Day
Something that tends to hold people off from starting down a path of self-care is that they don’t feel as though they have enough time to make that kind of a commitment. They assume that it’ll be hours out of their day that they currently need for other tasks, and they don’t want to cut back that much just to feel a bit better. You don’t need to take a ton of time out of your day in order to get a self-care routine going. Just a mere 10 minutes a day will do. Self-care doesn’t have to take up a lot of time.
As little as 10 minutes a day is enough to help you improve your life significantly. Now, there are a few options you can take in regard to self-care considerations. First, you can spend that 10 minutes a day focusing on one specific thing – primarily either mental health or physical health.
You can alternate days so that you cover both bases and have a full 10 minutes to dedicate to each one. You can spend time each day doing 10 minutes of quick cardio or a quick workout, which can mean the world for someone in terms of improving their physical health. It seems insufficient, but if you really push yourself for those 10 minutes, you can do a lot more than you think. Similarly, those 10 minutes can be spent on improving your mental health.
You can do this by getting in a quick prayer and meditation session or any other equivalent helpful stress relief strategy. It can be done anywhere, and as long as you’re giving yourself around 10 minutes, you’re going to do just fine.
5 Minutes in the Day or 5 Minutes at Night
Another option would be splitting it up each day. You can even do five minutes each, mental health and physical health, if that’s what you’d prefer. If you feel as though it works better for you, then you can do that.
This doesn’t give you as much time, of course, for each part, but you’ll be able to do it more often, which might be what’s best for your situation at that time. There are many experts that say even a small amount of self-care goes a long way.
It’s certainly better than completely neglecting yourself on a routine basis. Find small time-saving strategies like deep breathing, a quick brisk walk, or prayer and meditation. Do this consistently throughout to week to see how your body and mind respond.
One Step At A Time
Long-term health is a life goal for those in addiction recovery and that can be achieved by dedicating just 10 minutes a day to self-care. Whether improving physical or mental well-being, small efforts each and every day will pay off in the long run. You don’t have to put huge amounts of time into your own wellness; it’s enough to take things one step at a time. Self-care is within reach – put in the effort now, and reap the rewards later!
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Advice for Resolving Conflicts in Your Relationships (And if You’re Funny Use Humor)
The conflict has been brewing all day. The combatants are at crisis point, and it feels like the entire office is holding their collective breath waiting to see what happens next. At this point, they’re ready for bloodshed, or at the very least, some very strong words.
No matter how much you like the other person, at some point, conflict is likely to happen. While most conflicts are fairly small (like trying to decide where to go out for dinner), left untended a conflict can fester and grow. That’s why it’s so important to resolve conflicts in your relationships before they have a chance to take on a life of their own.
How do you go about doing that?
- Start by listening. But don’t just listen to the spoken words, but the feelings behind them. It’s the emotions that drive the conversation after all! By listening actively, meaning pausing to ask questions, clarify, and to reiterate what you think the other person is saying, you tell the other person that what they have to say matters. But more importantly, you’re letting them know that they’re being heard.
- Look for resolution over being right. Giving up the notion that you have to ‘win’ is where you start seeing the solutions. Conflict is not a competition.
- Stay at the moment. Instead of focusing on what happened that brought you into this conflict, pay attention to what’s going on right now. Now isn’t the time for blame. Rather look for solutions.
- Decide what’s important right now. It is called ‘picking your battles’ and is important in determining whether a thing is worth fighting over. Ask yourself if this is just an issue over a minor annoyance that will be easily forgotten, or if you have something deeper going on that maybe needs to be addressed.
- Know how and when to disengage. That means being able to do what it takes to walk away. It might be forgiveness is in order. It might be that you’re just going to need to agree to disagree. Worst case scenario? It might be time just to let the matter go entirely. Whatever the case, there’s nothing to be gained by staying in the conflict.
The last thing anyone expects is for one of the key players in the conflict to open their mouths and… make a joke?
Maybe it doesn’t feel like a resolution to the conflict, but actually, laughter goes far beyond being the clichéd ‘best medicine.’ How? First of all, laughter takes the tension out of the situation, which is exactly what’s needed to regain perspective, build stronger bonds, and yes, sometimes smooth over the differences.
How then do you effectively use humor to resolve conflicts?
- Make sure that both parties are ‘in on the joke.’ By keeping humor wholesome – not at the expense of the other person, you’re focusing on inviting them to laugh with you, rather than laughing at them. How can you tell if you’re doing it right? Humor is tricky, and so your best indicator of getting it right is to gauge the other person’s reactions. If they’re not laughing, chances are they don’t find it funny. Stop!
- Check to make sure that you’re using humor as a defensive weapon rather than as a positive tool. If you’re using humor to mask emotions that you’d rather not deal with right now, then it’s time to put a flag on the play. Stop immediately and ask yourself what it is that you’re not dealing with and why.
- Work on that sense of humor. Every good comedian knows how to read their audience. The same goes for using humor with another person, especially in a situation that’s already a conflict. Watch the nonverbal cues. What language are you using? Keep the tone positive and light, and mean it. That means don’t use jokes as a means of cruelty. Lastly, consider what you might use as an inside joke. Inside jokes not only keep the situation light but create a deeper intimacy with whom you conflict.
- Most importantly, be Playful! A little bit of silly fun is a good thing. Not sure how to tap into that kind of fun and crazy side? Explore humor in other ways so that you always have a repertoire to fall back on. Watch things you find funny on TV or in movies. Listen to jokes. Read the funnies. Find that side of you that likes to play and encourage it with creativity and fun.
And no matter what, cut yourself some slack. It takes practice to be funny. Keep at it, and you’ll find your natural sense of humor, and be able to tap into it when you need to. That conflict won’t know what hit it!
Resolving conflicts isn’t a hard skill to learn. By following these tips, you will discover how better to deal with conflict in every kind of relationship – whether business or personal. So take heart – a misunderstanding doesn’t have to mean the end of the world. Instead, look at your conflict as a step toward better understanding that will, in turn, lead to better relationships in the long run.
What are the Causes and Benefits of Conflict?
Your day might have started fairly ordinary. Only somewhere along the way, things blew up. Now you’re in the middle of a massive conflict with no clear idea of how you got there.
It’s normal to fall into conflict – we’re only human after all. Some conflict is even good for us! But did you know that by understanding how these blow-ups come about, you can learn how to avoid many of these conflicts in the first place?
Conflict comes about because we’ve hit a point of disagreement with another person. While a difference of opinion doesn’t have to turn into conflict, every conflict has at its heart a difference of opinion. These differences manifest in these areas:
- A difference in values
- A difference in motivations
- A difference in what you perceive is true or necessary\
- A difference in wants
- A difference in the understanding of various ideas or even ideals.
How do these differences then turn into conflicts?
- The difference has somehow become perceived as a threat. Whenever you feel threatened, there’s going to be trouble. Threats bring out that whole urge to fight to protect what’s important to you. Hence, your disagreement escalates into the realm of conflict.
- You’ve let that conflict fester. So, what might have felt like a minor threat at the beginning has become something much bigger in nature because of two factors. First, you neglected the conflict by not dealing with it right away. Second, the passage of time has given the conflict room to grow. So, now it’s blown up into something bigger than it ever was in the first place. How? Keep reading, and you’ll see.
- By now your perception is off-kilter. It might be that what you perceive to be a threat – was never a threat in the first place. How does this happen? Chances are you lost your objectivity in the situation. Especially if you feel threatened. Then add to it #4.
- Your emotions got involved. Conflicts tend to attract strong emotions. But the stronger the emotion, the more likely you are to blow things out of proportion. Emotional reactions also make it a lot harder to deal with a conflict in the first place, so chances are if you get emotional, you’ve already let things get out of control.
Are There Benefits of Conflict?
When you experience a violent storm, it’s easy to rail against the weather. The wind and the rain can seem terrifying, especially when coupled with the crash of thunder and the bright crackle of lightning splitting the sky. But ask any farmer, and they’ll tell you that even storms have their benefits. The rain is necessary for their crops. And believe it or not, when lightning strikes the ground, it puts nitrogen into the soil that is essential for things to grow.
Likewise, conflicts have certain benefits that we don’t always see. Keep reading to find several of them you might not have considered before now.
- Conflicts make us aware of new ways to do things. The very fact that there’s a conflict tells you that someone else has a different point of view from your own. By exploring those conflicts, you are likewise invited to explore the idea from a new angle and see a new solution that wouldn’t have occurred before.
- Conflicts enable us to verbalize what we want. Think of conflict as a way of being able to genuinely express yourself that doesn’t come up easily at other times. It’s through conflict that we decide what’s important to us, and how to put those feelings into words.
- Conflict drives flexibility. When we conflict, we’re hoping for others to see our point of view. But also in dealing with conflict, we’re forced to see the point of view of those around us. That is where we learn how to become flexible, to acknowledge that we’re not always right. The conflict then becomes the teacher of two traits that you can’t live without—that of being open-minded, and of understanding humility.
- Conflict forces us to listen. The only way to resolve conflict is to listen openly to the other person. Through listening, we acquire wisdom and learn to make better decisions.
- Conflict drives solutions. When you deal with conflict, you are likewise dealing with a problem that needs a solution. Resolving that conflict means finding those solutions, usually in new and innovative ways. Conflict, thus, forces us to solve our problems in creative ways.
While you might shy away from the idea of conflict, it’s good to remember these benefits. Without conflict, we stagnate. So while the storm outside might rage, remember that all tempests do come to an end. The sun will come out again, and in that light, you’ll be able to see how much you’ve grown and benefitted by that conflict.
You need to maintain your objectivity, keep your emotions in check, and realize that every conflict is an opportunity to grow. Conflicts are normal in life. But it’s the resolution of conflicts that draws us closer together and builds both trust and intimacy.